Words to Click By

 MONDAY TO GO:  "Words to Click By" L. Zern

I am a fan of YouTube. I love being able to search the world wide web for as many sources about how to milk a goat as is possible to be searched. 

You want to know how to milk a goat? Fear not. Someone is milking a goat on YouTube in Minnesota or Mikasoukee or Mudville or . . . 

Well, you get it.

The problem with YouTube? So many voices desperate for attention leads to the use of shameless hyperbolic words and phrases to lure the wary YouTuber. These are words and phrases that catch your eye, tweak your curiosity, and titillate you with their titillating tittles.

For example:

UNSPEAKABLE goat milking techniques

BOMB SHELL goats and the people who milk them

The DARKEST SECRETS of goat milkers

DIABOLICAL devil goats

The FILTHY SECRETS of making goat cheese

How do you not click on those chunky headlines? 

As a person who is constantly (perhaps an overstatement but maybe not) accused of being hyperbolic and drama prone, I can appreciate headlines like these: unspeakable, bomb shell, darkest secrets, diabolical, and anything filthy.

But be warned. You will be disappointed. The headlines rarely, if ever, match the report.

 But they sure do spice things up, and isn’t that fun? 

Since I’m accused of being a drama prone, volatile, over the top flair monger, I’ve decided to live my life in big words and bigger headlines.

For example:

UNSPEAKABLE things found under my teenage son’s mattress

BOMBSHELL report. Mom burned dinner again.

The DARKEST SECRETS of a grandmother of sixteen

DIABOLICAL kids and the brain-worms they infect us with

The FILTHY SECRETS of the family bathroom

Don’t pretend you don’t want to know what I found under that mattress? That’s a double negative, so you do want to know. Ha! Gotcha!

But you’ll have to excuse me now; I just stumbled on a YouTube title that reads SADISTIC FATHER INFILTRATES DORMS AND FORMS CULT OF COLLEGE KIDS. 

I’ve got to watch that one.

Linda (Drama Drone) Zern