Friday, September 19, 2014

Quiz This

My children (grown) spend a tremendous amount of time discussing the results of online quizzes they take on Facebook. They also spend a tremendous amount of time taking these quizzes. 

In addition they spend a great deal of time trying to juke the quiz system so as to get the results that flatter them the most.

Sample Discussion Question:

“What did you say for question #6? Lovely Lemon Yellow or Dapper Dan Green?”

And then: “Oh look, I’m The Golden Queen of Funky Fairyland. Cool. Is that what you got?”

I refuse to participate in the quiz taking, because I find the quizzes less than scientific and more than stupid. And yet my children (grown) continue to send them to me. Or tag me with them. Or junk up my inbox with their annoying presence. I’m a little fuzzy on the correct terminology.

But I fixed their quiz-taking wagons. I started faking my results.

For example if the quiz was “Which Disney character are you?” I wrote, “Unicorn.”

Or for the quiz titled, “What Romantic Temperature Are You?” I wrote, “Unicorn.”

Eventually they figured it out which gives me hope for the next generation.

However, in the spirit of modern media savvy and to reach out to a younger and a much more quizzical generation of quiz takers, I’ve created my own scientific survey of curios results.

Called: Which Kind of Zern Kid (Grown) Are You? Please note, because I’ve never actually taken an online quiz I don’t know how they work, so I’m making the format up.

Question #1: A. How often do you read your mother’s weekly sometimes twice-weekly blog posts? 1) I’m reading it right now. 2) Is she still doing that? or 3) What blog posts?

B. If you had a choice between taking an on-line quiz or reading one of your mother’s blogs, which would you choose? 1) I want a dollar every time she mentions my name or 2) Is she still doing that?

C. Can you name a favorite blog post written by your mother? 1) Yes 2) No 3) Have you seen the will? I hear there’s a new one. 4) Hey, everyone, here’s another online quiz called, “What Caliber of Bullet Are You? I got 50 caliber. What’d you get?”

By the by, there is a new will but you have to pass an online quiz based on fifteen years worth of my blog entries to qualify for cash and prizes. Passing level is Unicorn.

Linda (All of the Above) Zern 

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