That’s
the gist of it—paraphrased, roughly, also badly.
What
it means is that Americans can find the humor in just about anything. It’s true
or it’s roughly true.
I’ve
also read that humor is tragedy plus time. That’s quoted—badly.
Whatever
you believe about what is or is not funny, laughing beats the alternatives. I’d
rather laugh than set myself on fire or lock myself in a basement, growing
paranoia under a black light.
So
I write about the irony, the absurdity, the inconsistency, and the sheer
unpredictability of being alive in a world where it’s possible to photo shop the
head of a Victoria Secret model onto your own body. See what I did there? The
idea of putting the head of a sexy model on the aging body of a five foot one
inch freckled author is silly, and that’s why that’s funny. Humor 101.
And
so this is my annual disclaimer.
MISSION
STATEMENT: I make fun of me and
mine and sometimes people who tick me off, but I disguise those folks so they
can’t sue me.
WARNING: Don’t read anything I write if you 1)
can’t laugh at yourself 2) can’t laugh at me 3) can’t laugh at anything other
than crotch kicking or 4) haven’t laughed since you became “enlightened.”
MARRIAGE
TIP: Never buy luggage! That way
whoever threatens to leave has to haul their junk off in black garbage bags.
It’s a real deterrent.
FAVORITE
SUBJECTS TO LAMPOON: Animal lovers who eat meat. Meat eaters who love animals.
Animal owners that are eaten by their animal, and anyone who thinks that an
eagle eating a duck constitutes cannibalism. Lampoon lovers.
FAVORITE
TV SHOWS: Anything but reality.
Reality sucks.
BEST
COMFORT FOOD: Granny Bagget’s
chicken-n-dumplings, but Granny Bagget’s been gone for thirty years or more, so
I’m in the market for a new choice.
BFF: My husband.
PMLTDMC
(Person Most Likely To Drive Me Crazy):
My husband.
PET
PEEVE: Dead light bulbs. Because
they scream “lazy,” and because I’m short and I have to get a stepladder to
change the big tall light bulbs and getting someone tall to do it is a pain in
the lampoon.
BIGGEST
WORRIES: Tongue tumors and the
zombie apocalypse.
POLITICAL
AFFILIATION: Libertarian until you
can prove to me that being “liberal” or “conservative” won’t turn us all into
zombies with tongue tumors.
WRITING
PHILOSPHY: Anytime, anywhere,
anything!
And
that’s the gist of it, for now. I can’t promise anything should I become an
“overnight” sensation, sell butt loads of books, and become obscenely wealthy
and riddled with guilt over my good fortune. Then I might become a real drag,
like all those famous types who hide out in their compounds in South
Florida.
Linda (The Gist Monger) Zern
