Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Sherwood Zern's Ten Tips For Hobby Farmers

Sweat dripped off the end of my husband’s nose as he filled in the hole. Water gushed up from the ground. There’d been a lot of rain. A smear of muck marred his cheek.

“Don’t be discouraged,” I said.

“I’m not,” he muttered, “but while I was digging I thought up a list of tips for hobby farmers.”

“Okay. Let me hear it.”

He began:

1. Buy the best livestock available.
2. Buy the best feed you can afford.
3. Construct shelters and jungle gyms for the animal’s health and wellbeing.
4. Know your vet well enough to invite them to Sunday dinner.
5. Purchase the best shovel you can.
6. Have the backhoe man on speed dial.
7. Don’t buy property with any trees. Roots are right out when you’re digging holes.
8. Keep your shovel handy.
9. Keep your backhoe man handy.
10. Dig deep.

“Or you can buy a shovel, dig a hole, throw money into hole, cover hole, and you’ll be left with a good shovel and a close relationship with your backhoe man.”

Not discouraged much? 

I would add to that list this advice. Don’t look at your neighbor’s goats—that live in the wild, give birth in the wild, nurse their babies in the wild, and haven’t seen a vet in their lifetimes. 

Here’s to farmers and farming everywhere. Good luck and God bless. 

Linda (Heartbreak Hotel) Zern 

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