IT IS TO MONGER

MONGER:

noun
1.
a person who is involved with something in a petty or contemptible way (usually used in combination):
a gossipmonger.

2.
Chiefly British. a dealer in or trader of a commodity (usually used in combination):
fishmonger.

verb (used with object)
3.
to sell; hawk.


Monger is an excellent word that should be used more frequently—in my opinion, of course—because I certainly wouldn’t want to foist my beliefs on others because that would make me an opinionmonger and since opinions are personal and protected speech under the first amendment of the Constitution of the United States, we are all free to believe what we want about words like monger. 

I like it. The word. Monger. I’m kind of partial to the first amendment as well.

In this coming new year of anticipated happiness, I am making a resolution to use the word, monger, more frequently. It’s good to be a goalmonger. Here’s a few possible uses of the word . . . monger . . .

Anti-free speech mongers: Those that object to my opinions when my opinions oppose their opinions. These people include most of my professors on the first day of class, especially the one who said, pointing to the class, “Anyone out there a conservative?” 

I watched several students in the class cringe, which prompted me to think of them as pansymongers.

Or my Comp I professor who enjoyed wasting class time quizzing the students on the best spots to procure drugs or discussing various student's plans to get rich by producing Internet porn on their webcams. I then became a gripemonger when I went to the head of the English department to complain, only to be told by the department chair that “creepmonger” professor was quite popular with the students. No doubt. No doubt.

I tried to get my money back, making me a gypmonger.

When security marched my Introduction to Computers professor off the campus under guard, having been accused of sexual harassment so severe they had to fire him, I became bittermonger. 

I paid good money for Doctor Race Bannon (he swore it was his real name) to waste my time. He was a real slickmonger.

I have seven classes to finish my degree. I’m trying to gird up my loins to be able to justify the cost. 

Seriously, when I paid $1,600.00 for an “advanced” creative writing class at a very fine local institution, I thought I’d be able to get help with writing point of view. I even asked, “Can we please talk about writing point of view?”

Sorry. Wasn’t on the syllabus. Thankfully, I found a little book on Amazon called “Rivet Your Readers With Deep Point of View” by Jill Elizabeth Nelson. Cost: Six Bucks. Here’s to Amazon Prime and capitalism. 

And that makes me a POVmonger.

Linda (Get Real) Zern