Thursday, December 4, 2014

The First Epistle of ZippityZern to Cindy

1. Unto Cindy Lou I do write the happenings of our tribe in the year two thousand and fourteen and do speak somewhat of that which tickeleth the bone that is funny. And do say unto thee through Cindy Lou, trust not the guy whose heart is three sizes too small. He stealeth thy stuff.

2. Neither give heed to that which everyone else doth do, for they followeth strange fads and turneth aside unto vain janglings. 

3. But yet remain strong in that which giveth joy and bringeth giggles.

4. Be like unto Kipling (age 6) which dideth go with his mother and siblings to the doctor and did worrieth that he would be given a shot. The stress of which did causeth him to have gas and toot much. When the nurse did entereth the room she declared, “Shew. Who dideth fart?”

5. And Kip did speak forth, saying, “Me. I’m the nervous kid in the room.”

6. And he did speaketh the truth and did holdeth nothing back, being honest in his dealings with his fellow man. And thus we see that to speak the truth is often most funny and beloved of all.

7. This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation.

8. And the young and impressionable in our tribe did likewise speak often of the world and its doings, finding delight and wonder in the wagging of the world and who doth way it.

9. Or as it was said by Zoe (age 10) when in science club she did observeth salt dancing under the influence of percussion and music to form most intricate and dazzling of patterns, “I’m speechless.” 

10. Also be like unto Emma (age 9) who beginneth all and every sentence with a much used phrase, it being, “Did you know . . .” And she doth have the knowing of many things, yea, almost all things.

11. Then there is the example of one Conner (age 8); who doth struggle much in his reading but doth set for all a fine brightness of hope when he saith, “It is my destiny to learn to read.” 

12. And also there being one Sadie (age 6) who delighteth in the sun, and moon, and stars; who bringeth gifts of rocks to me that sparkleth with much quartz, wanting much to study the glitter she doth find in the earth.

13. And Zachary and Reagan hath learned much in their going to pre-school, mostly that Indians did creepeth and did eateth much of turkey with those known as Pilgrims. And Reagan did complaineth, “I tired of turkey songs.”

14. This is a true saying, that Griffin, whom they still calleth Gummy, and Hero, who loveth horses much, and Scout, known for her much climbing, did all grow in stature and wisdom and their parents did yet looketh forth to that day without diapers.

15. And in a day that is not yet, but soon, there would yet come another infant to our tribe and her name would be known on the records of our church: Leidy Hazel Lorance both for her great-grandfather and her great-grandmother and we did look forward to the day of her coming.

16. These things I write unto thee to show that our tribe doth still prosper and grow; that the song we sing hath both the secret of our love and the secret of our happiness contained therein, in that we do believe our purpose and mission is to inviteth others to our family and to ‘help [them] and others on their way.’ And this is that which doth make our lives a marvelous work and a wonder to us. And we do rejoice and wish all a most pleasant journey and much blessed Christmas.

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