The Song of Zern * Chapter Five or There About

1 And we, the tribe known as Zern-ites, did yet tarry upon the lowlands of Central Florida where we did feedeth our flocks and watch our neighbor, even he of the tribe of Ishamael, butchereth his own sheep and goats on the festival of Eid. Yea and very many did he butchereth. 

2 And it was strange unto us that our neighbor should butcher thus, but we did shruggeth it off and wonder much at these doings, having hope that our property value dideth not fall even lower than it had hitherto fallen.

3 And our patriarch did continueth to travel beyond the horizon line to work much abroad in the lands of the foreign kings and he did continueth in this manner and his wife spake much unto Sherwood saying,

4 Come not home again thinking to have chocolates left upon they pillow, but think to put thy hand to the plow and the hammer and the lawnmower and be quicketh about it.

5 And surely our sons and daughters did yet prosper in the land, increasing both in flocks and children. And they dideth tarry much in the kitchen and in the yard and in the refrigerator of our ancestral home, yea, even YaYa’s abode.

6 And Aric did take Lauren unto wife in the land northward; and Heather and Phillip did yet teacheth and traineth their children and the number of these children being five; and Maren and T.J. did moveth into even their own home, yea she and her family, and there was much rejoicing; and Adam and Sarah brought forth yet another daughter, one Scout Harper. Thus did the number of children that we thought of as grand did numbereth ten. And we dideth laugh much at their antics.

7 And it came to pass that I dideth battle much against the heathen hoards, even the raccoons and the feral cats that dideth much infest the land.

8 Yea, even that raccoons that laid waste to my flock of chickens and I did weepeth much and wail.

9 Yea too, the feral cats that dideth lurk and sneak and snarl in the darkness, slipping silently into my abode even my home, where they dideth meet mine dogs in battle.

10 Which dogs did frighteneth the feral cats until they didest loosen their bowels all over my kitchen floor, and I did weepeth much and wail.

11 Whilst the cats did battle much with the dogs and the raccoons did eateth the chickens, I didest write much upon my computer machine of things both past and present. And I did bringeth forth a new book, a smallish book that was both easy to read and hard to forget, a book called MOONCALF, and I did hope much for its good success and gentle message.

12 And the year being twenty and thirteen, yea even it did pass away as if we were in a dream; a dream both happy and sad, both good and bad, and we did learn much of our purpose in this life and of our hope in the life to come. Thus endeth my record.