Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Tribal Tell All - The Disclaimer

Every once upon a time, I feel it’s important to clarify my position on a couple of crucial issues lest the reading public jump to, if not leap, to the wrong conclusions.

A lot of what I write is fiction, except when it’s not.  It’s also for the promoting of light heartedness and high jinks, concepts that have sadly gone out of fashion in some naval gazing circles. So here’s how it works . . .  

It was the spring of ’98, and we had just sold our first herd of chinchillas . . . ugh! See? There I go again. It’s like a compulsion.

Okay, here goes. Maren, our youngest daughter, who was reading one of my latest Internet postings, remarked, “But I wasn’t even there.”

I said, “I know. And you never said what I said you said either.”

She wailed, possibly flailed.

“But people will think things.”

“No they won’t. People get it. This stuff is just for fun, mostly. You know, like playing Trivial Pursuit until your brain bleeds,” I said, trying to look confident, literate, and all knowing. You know, like a mom. “And besides, people don’t think things unless they absolutely have to. I know I don’t.”

“But, Mom!”

“Here’s your dollar.”  I find that objections to media exposure can be lessened wildly by the re-distribution of my dollars to the other actors in this little play of mine.

Here’s the playbook:

The Husband (played by Sherwood K. Zern) – A bad boy who became a good guy and is on his way to becoming a great man with a nickname that bears closer examination. The nickname? Spokes Zern.

Oldest Child (played by Aric) – A great guy to have on your side if you’re in a firefight or if you need to speak fluent Portuguese, a man for all seasons and adventures and challenges, who as a child brought out the drill instructor in me, soon to be a first time father. 

Oldest Daughter (played by Heather) – Who makes being the mother of five look stylish and fashionable, whose children will one day rise up and call her blessed, if she doesn’t sell them to the gypsies first.

Youngest Daughter (played by Maren) - A woman who believes in her family, her country, her political party and in her power to make a difference and in the ability of a great stiletto to establish dominance.

Youngest Son (played by Adam) -  A born leader of men, women, and group projects. Who always required the best from himself and others, except for his daughter, Sadie, whom he indulged to the point of embarrassment when she was a baby. He was sorry when she turned two because she climbed onto and rode a very high horse.

The Tribe (played by Zoe Baye, Conner Phillip, Kipling Sherwood, Zachary Jon,  Griffin Henry, Reagan Baye-Love, Hero Everdeen, Leidy Hazel,  Sadie JoLee, Emma Sarah, Ever Jane, Scout Harper, and their co-stars Lauren, Sarah, TJ, and Phillip.)  

Stay tuned for coming attractions of all shapes, sorts, sizes and political persuasions—mostly anarchists.  

Now you know—sort of.

Linda (Queen and Tribal Drill Instructor) Zern

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