Quickies: Postings that are Short and Sweet

Fun and games in Saint Cloud - We watch Reagan watch the binky go 'round and 'round. Sometimes we watch giant tree frogs urinate on the back porch screen.

The swimming hole or a livestock water tank

Bad Day in Duck Town

“I drowned one of the ducks.”

It’s never a good sign when you start out the day by drowning an aquatic bird.

What? I didn’t do it. Sherwood, my husband and boyfriend of thirty plus years, did.

But it’s my fault.

I told him what to do, just not often enough or clearly enough or slowly enough or enough. 

When I noticed that our four new ducklings ($3.99 at Tractor Supply) were starting to walk like Quasimodo, I jumped on the Internet, typed in “ducks lurching about like a character in a French novel”, eavesdropped on several duck blogs, and learned that ducklings being raised in giant rubber buckets occasionally fail to develop proper leg strength. Therapy to develop proper duck muscles included thirty minutes per day of swimming about in water of a sufficient depth.

That’s what I told my husband. Thirty minutes.

NOT – place ducklings in bucket of water and leave, until one drowns, remove remaining ducklings. Confess.

When he confessed what had happened, I said, “You don’t listen.”

He said, “Oh, I listen. I just don’t hear you.”

In truth, Sherwood felt horrible about the accidently drowning. Especially in light of the fact that he’s been working on a state of the art duck pen, complete with antique iron tub and surrounding concrete decking. He’s been working on the duck pen for about a year, because his first duck construction efforts resembled the work of a drunken computer programmer and my husband, a computer programmer, doesn’t drink.

Raising baby ducks has a learning curve like everything else, and duck farming ain’t for sissies. But like all learning curves it’s extremely helpful if hearing and listening become part of the duck therapy experience, before . . .

. . . somebody has to die.

Linda (Duck Out) Zern

 

   

Side Show

Our assignment for Creative Writing: Make a list that eventually tells a story . . . 

E.J., Nicole, Rafe, and Sami Talk

Barry finds an old pair of boxers

Vincent attempts to convince the world he’s legally insane

BABY BORN TWICE

Contestants dive into foam

Matt and Lou crash a wedding

Jessica accidentally calls her husband

WOMAN WITH TWO HUNDRED POUND TUMOR!

Long term solution for hair removal

This 10 minute method ignites and melts fat

A collection of more than 2,000 wigs

GIRL WITH TWO HEADS!

City hall may be haunted

Novelist found dead in her car

Woman lives in log cabin with no electricity

GRANDMOTHER GIVES BIRTH TO HERSELF!

Looks, smell, sounds, feels, tastes and swims like a wounded baitfish

Thirteen has a bad date

A wee sized alien

BOY IMPALED THROUGH HEART—LIVES!

Capitol Hill Hearings: no information available

Viewpoint with Eliot Spitzer: no information available

C-Span: no information available

Dirty bombs; China’s economic chaos. Series

SURVIVORS OF AN APOCALYPSE JOIN FORCES AGAINST ZOMBIES